I am getting use to being able to eat the way I feel I need to eat and when I feel I need to. But I feel guilty eating some of the foods I am. I am also someone that cannot seem to not weigh myself in the mornings. I personally do not feel it is bad to know what I weigh. I also do not feel that it is bad to log what I eat. I just need to keep going with the concept that I am free to eat what I feel I need to eat and when I feel the need to eat. I know from the forums I have been reading and the books on intuitive eating that it takes time to get over the diet mindset.
I am not gaining as much as I was afraid that I would, but still enough that I feel guilty about it. I am hoping they are right that once I get in to the intuitive eating that my weight will stabilize and it will stay that way. I am not someone that really cares what I weigh so long as I can be healthy and fit at that weight.
Now to my blood pressure, I am sure it is the stress of trying to sale our home and wanting to move, but my blood pressure is up. I have also been looking over my walking logs and see that I have not taken a rest day in over 2 months so that may be part of it. But I do not feel tired or stressed for my walks. I look forward to walking everyday and the days that I feel I may not be able to walk is a stressful concept.
I have made an appointment with my dietitian for later in December and want to talk to her about what I am doing now. I also have an appointment with my doctor for late in March. And I have an eye appointment for the first of February. And I will also get my hearing tested on that day.
The guilt is real, but I know it has to be the fact that I have been conditioned to diet, this to will pass with time.
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