Yesterday was a day of eating foods that I would normally not allow myself the eat. I had breakfast of Canadian baron, American cheese rapped in biscuits. It was great and I loved the flavor. But I still had the feelings that I should not be eating it. I have not fully learned that I am free to eat what I wish to eat. We did not eat breakfast to about 11:00 am so lunch was really nothing be snacking and eating a leftover from breakfast. I know I was eating way too much salt, but my body was wanting the salt. I also had a small apple and orange. For dinner I took my wife to our favorite, buffet, The Sirloin Stockade. I believe I was reasonably good. I had a small piece of meatloaf, a small piece of beef liver, and the rest was steamed veggies. But I did allow myself to have a really small piece of pecan pie. My best guess was that my meal was about 1100 calories. Seeing the pie was about a quarter of a slice, and the meatloaf, and liver was about a third each of a normal serving. When I got home and had time to relax all I could think about was the cookies and cream ice cream in the freezer. I went to get some and decided to just eat a small spoonful first. I then decided that spoonful was all I needed of it. I did not feel I needed more of the ice cream this was something new for me I normal have to have at least a half a cup. Then not long before bedtime my wife brought me a small glass of red wine and 2 pretzel bites. I drank the wine and ate one of the pretzels and that was it.
For the day yesterday I ate more than I have calories wise in a very long time. I also took in more salt than I have in a while. This morning my blood pressure show that salt as does my weight. But I never felt stuffed or uncomfortable from what I ate. This is a process of learning what I can eat and what I need. Most importantly it is a process to teach my body that I am no longer depriving it of what it wants and needs. I more than likely will gain a few pounds before I really learn when I am needing to eat, and when I have had enough to eat. I also managed to do something at my evening meal that in the past I could not allow myself to do, I left food on the plate. I was raised to clean my plate and to always eat everything I took to eat. I am relearning that it is ok to leave food on the plate.
Now I have to say this my parents never forced me to eat more than I wanted or told me that I had to clean my plate, it was when I went in Navy Boot Camp that I was told to clean my plate and to eat everything I took. It was also the Navy that got me to eating so fast. I have also relearning to slow down at eating. It is very hard for me to do so. But as I slow down at eating I am becoming more in tune with my stomach. I am pay attention to when I am becoming hungry and not waiting until I am starving. I am also by eating slower earning to stop eating before I am too full. I am starting to feel like I did when I was younger and before I went in the Navy.
As a teenager, and young adult I ate when I was hungry and not by the clock. It was the Navy that taught me to eat on command. We should eat when we feel the need to eat regardless of the time. We need to eat our meals when we feel the need including snacks. We need to pay attention to what our bodies is in need of. And not eat what some diet book or some diet says. When we relearn to feed or needs then we will have learned to eat correctly and not over eat.
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